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The Cheese Poem

Cheese, cheese you are so good,
You are my favorite food!
I can eat you in a log,
Or feed you to my dog.
I could catch you in a net,
Or make you into a chia pet.
I could hunt you in the wild,
Or feed you to Bob's child.
They eat you in Havana,
Even on a banana!
While I like to eat you in a wheel,
Most of all, I like the way you feel.
Sometimes cheese, you fall on the ground,
But my dog will lick you from a mound.
If you appear in the sky,
I will eat you in a pie!
Although you sometimes turn green,
You never taste mean.
And when you are served up blue,
Your wonderful stench outdoes you.
If food was money,
You would be as good as honey!
Cheese, you are so neat,
Your texture is that of peat;
When you are accompanied by meat,
All I want to do is eat.
Yellow, white, green, and blue,
Cheese, oh cheese, I love you.
On tacos and burgers I eat you with joy,
I even play with you like a toy.
Singles or slices or grated up fine,
Cheese, oh cheese won't you be mine?
Cheese, oh cheese when you are old,
You are no longer yellow and bold.
Instead you are a shade of grey;
Some might use you for a toupee!
When you are old and frail,
Sometimes you grow a tail!
When I'm feeling lonely and down,
Cheese, oh cheese you keep me without frown.
For in fact you come in a string,
I even wear you in a ring.
I would be happy if cheese fell like rain,
It would take away the world's pain.
If King Arthur ate cheese on the round table,
I'm sure you could be eaten by Jeff Grable.
If cheese came in a box,
People would wear you like socks!
If ever stranded all alone,
I would rather have you than a doggy bone.
Cheese, oh cheese, when you are blue,
You feel gooey like Elmer's Glue.
Cheese, cheese, a product of dairy,
When you're old, you're green and hairy.
Sometimes I dream of a yellow cheese haze,
It reminds me of my disco days.
I like to put you in my soup,
But the cheese at Safeway tastes like poop.
When I die, I'll ask them, "Please,
Bury me in a coffin of cheese."
The moon is where I want to be,
Because the moon is made of cheese, you see.
Cheese, cheese, I beg, I plea,
Don't ever take my cheese from me.
My first cheese was orange, yes it was,
When I ate it, BOOM! BANG! BUZZ!
I realized without cheese, I wouldn't be whole.
For a piece of cheese I'd sell my soul.
I've always lived by the words my mom told,
"Life is like a brick of cheese, you never know what you'll be when you're old."
I want to live in Wisconsin, so high,
So I can eat limburger, swiss, and cheddar. Oh my!
Cheese, I wish I could wear you like pants,
Sometimes, cheese, you make me want to dance!
Cheese is a very strong obsession,
It seems that it will never lessen.
Straight from the mouth of Ben Gunn,
The eating of cheese is never done.
Sometimes I eat you in a yellow cream,
Cheese, oh cheese, you make eating a dream.

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